I keep getting stuck in this rut of pushing people away because if I never build connections or trust with people, especially romantic relationships, I can avoid the deep heartbreak when they inevitably violate, betray me or try to seriously hurt or kill me. It’s only been since leaving Denver after being abandoned by my […]Read more "The Criminality Of Distrust"
I’m trying to ride the tidal wave Of shame and anger Me on the crippled raft Just wanting a second oar As my dark mind roars If I throw myself over and drown My distant friends won’t find my body Either way they will wear frowns Broken I left with a boat too shoddy Why […]Read more "Every Iceberg Has A Warm Heart To Dig To, Nestle In And Die And Die And Die And Freeze To Death Back Into Eternal Life Because He Now Knows The Most Brutal Of Winters So Can I Only Be A Forever And Ever Summer That Melts The Entire Ocean And Washes Away All The Collective Hurt Of A World Unaware Of The True Weight Or Cause Of The Long Drought Shadowed Over Our Playground Because Death Just Can’t Stand The Way We Want To Play Without Wounds So We Will Drown Him In His Own He Refuses To Treat"
Am I dying Or is pain being removed To allow the impossible Of everlasting joy? Am I impossibly weak For asking for outward love Because I can’t find it inside? Can I shuck away self denial Or is it perpetually me Does Eve/God truly love me Or just wanting to take the remains of my […]Read more "Eternal Doubt Is My True Love"
Chances are As you’ve made it this far The cigarettes and needles Won’t stick around as tar Chances are Your scars from the streets Will be a mere memory A warrior’s scar You may see a loser A crippled outcast all lost But I see a love chooser Not willing to pay the cost Of […]Read more "Chances Are"
This meditation exercise I think of as a game was recommended to me when I first began my meditation practice years ago when I had been avoiding meditating because of the terrifying prospect of just being with my mind. Like many I was immersed in the busyness of everyday life working a full-time stressful job, […]Read more "Meditation For Beginners: The Mindfulness Game"
The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off –“Lemon,” N.E.R.D. Once the world learns of the crimes against humanity committed by the wealthy sociopaths who hold the real power in society — including sexual depravity and violence against children on a more extensive level than most could even comprehend — […]Read more "The Downside of Disclosure"
Many initially approach the Buddhist concept of impermanence with fear because it means moments of joy are fleeting and do not stick around. The irony is anyone who feels fearful or sad about that, as I often have, tends to be those who have few moments of joy in their lives anyway, and we’re all […]Read more "The Impermanence of Loneliness"